Commuting hell
04 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: baby on board, buses, commuters, commuting, pregnancy, TfL, trains, twin pregnancy
Anyone who knows me will know how much I hate commuting, but commuting whilst pregnant has been my own idea of hell. From the June heatwave and multiple tube strikes, to dealing with the inevitable nausea; commuting whilst pregnant is uncomfortable, hard work and best avoided.
Of course, it’s also pretty much unavoidable. If we could avoid it, we probably would have done – pregnant or not. But one thing which should help the pregnant commuter is the kindness of fellow commuters in offering up their seats in order to make your journey more comfortable, or at least to stop you fainting or getting smacked in the stomach with a laptop case.
Unfortunately in my experience this is a dream which doesn’t exist in the real world. I’m now 7 months pregnant and today was the first time someone offered me a seat. And before anyone shouts me down, yes I know it can be a minefield for someone to offer a seat to someone who looks pregnant only to be embarrassed to find they’re just a bit podgy. (In fact, as a big woman myself, before pregnancy I used to live in fear of being offered a seat for that very reason – now I know I needn’t have worried).
No, for the last 4 months or so I have been wearing a Baby on Board badge, helpfully provided free by Transport for London - a great idea which is supposed to make it easier for all involved to recognise someone who might need a seat. Great in theory, but in reality all it actually does is cause people to avoid making eye contact and hold on to their seat as if they were super-glued to it.
But worse than not being offered a seat, is how often people physically push me out the way in order to get on a bus or train more quickly. It still shocks me (even after 6 years living in London) that it’s apparently socially acceptable for a 6ft tall man to push a 5ft tall pregnant woman out of the way in order to beat her to a (priority) seat. Here, no one bats an eyelid. I’d like to at least think though that there are places where this would be considered unacceptable - or maybe I’m giving people too much credit?
Commuting requires sharp elbows and a level of determination rarely seen outside the professional sports arena. Unfortunately for me, my pregnancy has caused my commuter training to lapse, and I can no longer keep up the focus needed to compete at the highest level. Thankfully I only have 3 weeks left until I start maternity leave, and it couldn’t come a moment too soon.
Pregnancy boredom
05 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: 13 weeks, 16 weeks, 22 weeks, boredom, moving, pregnancy, scan, symptoms, twin pregnancy, twins
I haven’t updated the blog for a couple of weeks, and it’s partly because there’s nothing to say. So I figured a post about the periods of pregnancy boredom would be appropriate…
Some weeks of pregnancy can be boring. Some days you feel a bit like crap, but nothing worth moaning about. Other days you feel fine and barely think about being pregnant at all. What makes the boredom worse is that people are always asking how you are and how the pregnancy is going, and it’s quite disappointing to have nothing to tell them.
My worst periods of boredom were between 8 weeks (about a week after I discovered I was pregnant) and 11 weeks (when I had my first midwife appointment). Nothing happened in this time. And it was still too early to tell anyone, so I couldn’t even enjoy sharing my news yet. After that, I found out at 13 weeks that I was having twins, and this gave us more big news to share. But once that had worn off my next scan wasn’t until 22 weeks, and with just a midwife appointment at 16 weeks to break up the monotony, it was another period of relative quiet.
But pregnancy forces you to count the weeks constantly – you always need to know exactly how pregnant you are (for instance today for me is 27+3) and if you sign up to those mailing lists from Mothercare or Bounty or the many others, you also get emails telling you when you reach each weekly milestone. And nothing makes time pass more slowly than constantly counting weeks and days!
Maybe I’m just too impatient. But 9 months is a long time to wait for something, even something that you know is going to scare the hell out of you when it arrives. And that’s not to say I’m not enjoying being pregnant. I am. I love the feeling of the twins moving around. I love going to scans and seeing them, and I’m even starting to like looking at cute baby clothes and thinking about what pushchairs and other stuff to buy. It’s just that some days are, well, a bit dull.
A bit of a kick
15 Aug 2010 4 Comments
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: 13 weeks, 16 weeks, 18 weeks, 21 weeks, babies, first time, firsts, kicking, moving, scan, twin pregnancy, twins
Following on from my last post, one of those major ‘first times’ is when you first feel your baby (or babies) move around.
At the first scan it’s strange to see them moving all over the place, but not be able to feel anything. But that strangeness is nothing compared to when you do feel them wriggling inside!
I first felt my two moving around week 21. I must admit, I was getting a bit worried because people talked about feeling it in week 18 or even 16, and I was wondering when it was going to happen to me. But happen it did, and it’s getting stronger as the weeks go by.
Sometimes I feel them very low down, and sometimes high up by my ribs. I find it quite ticklish at the moment, and it often makes me laugh (which must look odd if I’m sat in public). Sometimes they move so much that I’m convinced they’re having a bit of a fight in there, (hopefully not a sign of things to come!), but even those strong movements still feel nice.
I’ve heard that twins move much less later in pregnancy, because they run out of space, so I guess I’ll just have to enjoy it while I can. But by the time I get to that stage, I’ll be looking forward to seeing, rather than just feeling, them move around, and that’ll be a whole new first experience…
Pregnancy first times (1)
08 Aug 2010 1 Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: babies, baby, first time, firsts, midwife, pregnancy, pregnancy test
Pregnancy is full of first times, and in a first pregnancy they’re even more pronounced. Here are a couple of mine so far:
My first first was finding out I was pregnant. It wasn’t my first time ever doing a pregnancy test – I’d done one before, but this was the first time I’d seen anything other than the control line. The instructions tell you to wait a minute or so, but I didn’t need that much time – the red line appeared straight away. (I know people always talk about the ‘blue line’ but I figured I would put my faith in a supermarket own brand rather than spend a week’s lunch money on a stick to pee on).
It was a very strange feeling - holding in your hand an object representing a major life change - and I didn’t know how to react. I somehow already knew I was pregnant – a missed period is an obvious ‘symptom’ but there are other ways in which you just ‘feel pregnant’. But despite feeling like I already knew, I still found it a bit of a surprise, and in the end my first reaction was to burst out crying (certainly not the last time that need has arisen since I’ve been pregnant).
My next first time was going to see the midwife. Until you’re pregnant (and this may seem like I’m stating the obvious a bit) you never have any need to see a midwife – a doctor yes, but not a midwife. For me, going to see the midwife was quite odd. ‘I have an appointment with the midwife’ was a completely new sentence I’d never before uttered and it sat quite uncomfortably for a while.
As I sat in the waiting area, pictures of children all over the walls (they operate out of a children’s centre), I had that sense again of a major life change ahead, and that I’d somehow wandered into a place that I wasn’t supposed to be in. What I had wandered into was the ‘expectant mothers’ club – a club that had always been full of other people and one to which I had never given much thought. But there I was – a part of it.
But I’ve always loved doing and experiencing things I’ve never done or experienced before, for the simple reason that it’s something new. So, having first time experiences every week or so really suits me. Just as well really as they keep on happening…
Boys, girls, or both?
01 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: 22 weeks, babies, baby, boys, mum, pregnancy, scan, sex, twin pregnancy, twins
It’s an age-old question of pregnancy – whether to find out the sex before birth, or to wait for the surprise on the day. Obviously, it’s not actually age-old at all, as the technology to find out hasn’t been around forever. I’m not exactly long in the tooth, but my mum tells me I was never scanned before I was born, so finding out what I was was not an option. (I should clarify – I’m not so old that scanning wasn’t available, just that it wasn’t the routine element of pregnancy it is now in the UK.) In any case, I was a classic case of the words ‘It’s a girl!’ being a genuine surprise to my parents. But by the same token, the words ‘It’s a boy!’ when my brother was born was also a genuine surprise - the scan of him had showed him to be a she…
But my mum also told me that she’d known I was a girl, and that my brother was a boy, regardless of the lack of (in my case) or wrong (in his case) information she’d been given. But then it is a 50/50 chance of being right, and it’s easy to be sure of something after you’ve found out you’re right. Hindsight and all that.
So, now that it’s easy to find out what your baby (or babies) are going to be, wouldn’t you obviously want to? Not always. I know people who were horrified at the thought of finding out before their baby was born what it was going to be. They wanted the surprise on the day of the birth. I can see their point, but I couldn’t disagree with it more! From the moment I found out I was pregnant I’ve wanted to know exactly what it is (if only so I could stop calling it, ‘it’). The first scan sorted that problem to an extent – finding out ‘it’ was twins has enabled me to use the non-gender specific ‘them’ when talking about them, but I’ve still been dying to know what ‘they’ are going to be. And waiting until 22 weeks was bad enough. I can’t imagine another 4 months of wondering - of not being sure what colour clothes and accessories to buy, or whether to avoid frilly Moses baskets and go for something more manly with giraffes on or something.
No, when the sonographer asked me on Tuesday whether we wanted to know the sex, I couldn’t have answered more quickly. For me, it wasn’t about the baby clothes colours or any practical thing like that. I’ve told people that finding out it was twins was surprise enough and I didn’t need any more surprises, but it’s not really that either - I just really wanted to know. And long before I was even thinking seriously about pregnancy, I knew I could never be the kind of person who would wait for the birth to find out. And for those who don’t want to know, I’m sure it’s an equally strong feeling to not know. But apart from the definitely-don’t-want-to-knows and the definitely-do-want-to-knows, there are also the undecideds. And to them, I’m sorry, I don’t really have any advice on whether it’s better either way. For me, I’m glad I found out. Someone else would be just as glad they didn’t.
And if you’re wondering, we were rewarded with the news that they were exactly what I’d thought they were. Two boys.
Perhaps my mum was right – you do ‘just know’. Or maybe, with hindsight, I’ve just convinced myself that I knew all along…
Twins: Double the pain?
23 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: half way, morning sickness, nausea, pregnancy, symptoms, twin pregnancy, twins
One thing I get asked a lot when I tell people I’m pregnant with twins is whether I had particularly bad morning sickness or other symptoms. And the answer is, well, no. I had virtually no ‘morning’ sickness at all. (Of course, morning sickness can and does occur at any time of the day – what I did have was always in the evening just before bed). But I was never actually sick, and although the queasiness was not pleasant, it could have been worse, and indeed, does appear to be worse for many others – twins or not.
No, the truth is that having twins doesn’t always bring increased symptoms at all. That’s just something which varies from woman to woman, pregnancy to pregnancy.
There are some things you can’t escape with twins though. Size is one. Obviously, a woman pregnant with twins is going to be bigger, at some point, than one with a singleton. Usually the twin-mum-to-be will get bigger earlier, but again, that’s not always the case. (By the time of birth though, she’s bound to be.)
So I have being huge to look forward to, but hopefully, no more pregnancy symptoms than anyone else. I’ve been lucky for the first half, so fingers crossed for the next half!
Reluctant Mum
16 Jul 2010 1 Comment
in Twin Pregnancy Tags: babies, baby, mum, parent, pregnancy, reluctant, twin pregnancy, twins
I’m a bit worried about becoming a mother, and the fact it’s going to be to twins makes the whole thing a bit more daunting. You see, I don’t think I’ve ever even held a baby. Well, there was one time when my husband’s sister plonked one in my lap – obviously assuming that like any normal woman I’d be totally at ease with it. I was terrified, but luckily my husband (knowing about my baby aversion) swiftly scooped up said article and took it away. Since then, no-one in his family has ever let a baby near me again. It’s a bit embarrassing really.
So given my track record, understandably I’m a little apprehensive about having two of my own. But my husband tells me it will all come naturally when ours are born, and my mum says she didn’t feel particularly maternal before any of us were born, and she seemed to do ok.
All that said, I’m not sitting here worrying about it every day. In fact, I’m really excited about being pregnant and the thought of having kids (even two at once), and some days I fool myself into thinking that this is something I always wanted. It wasn’t though. I remember telling my mum when I was about 18 that I never wanted kids – ever. Obviously she told me I would change my mind one day - it’s taken over a decade, but it seems that I have.
So I guess I might have to call myself a slightly reluctant mum. Worried one day, vaguely confident the next, excited the one after that. Overall, pretty mixed up feelings wise – and I’m sure I can’t be the only pregnant woman to feel like that! But any reluctance doesn’t come from not wanting the kids - that’s never even crossed my mind. It’s all about how I think I’ll handle being a parent, and thankfully there are still a few more months to get used to that idea.
I only hope that in the few months I’m getting used to it, no one tries to make me hold a baby!
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